i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
