Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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