please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
