I want to stick my p in your. b.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
