Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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