In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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