He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
