barbara walters just said penis...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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