She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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