It's like God shit irony all over that family
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
