She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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