I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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