I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
