i jhust puked up my retainher.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
