did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
