Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
