Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
