it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
