I'm eating all of the evidence.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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