I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
