I could have mohawked her pubes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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