yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
