I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
