Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
