I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
