mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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