My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
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