Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
