So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
