Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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