Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
