Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
