remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
