you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
