I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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