I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
