Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
