and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm at about main and main street
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
