I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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