In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there was a trapeze. enough said
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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