the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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