I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
