A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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