Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
