oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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