Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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