im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
