Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
