enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
