I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
