Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
